The Curse Of The Dating App


The Curse Of The Dating App

 I’m an entrepreneur so I love to talk the risks and rewards of new ventures, but please don’t talk to me about another dating app idea. We are a busy generation consumed with business and pleasure. So busy we have grown lazy in other areas of our lives like dating. With the touch of everything at our fingertips it’s easy to order dinner and sex from an app on your phone. But is the satisfaction of convenience always appetizing? My past experience six years ago with dating apps left me a tad jaded. However, after listening to my friends talk about their recent dates its also made me curious about dating apps now. 

When you take away organic encounters it puts a great deal of pressure on physical appearance, status and career. Lets face it you aren’t swiping right on a bad photo. The guy with a half naked profile picture, gun or tiger. And we all know about the girl with the half-body head shot and overly photoshopped pictures. So what is it that’s appealing with dating apps? Years ago you would were actively seeking a relationship when you paid for online services like Match.com. Today dating is so accessible at a fraction of the cost or for free. The allure of scrolling through profiles looking for the hottest mate you can find is attractive, but is there more than looks?

After only three weeks I’ve listened to one buddy talk to me about nearly six-to-seven dates he’s been on. My worst nightmare. The days of dating one person for a few weeks to see if there is anything to pursue are over. Welcome the receptionist process: Weeding through several potential dating prospects looking for the interviewees. After the initial meeting process you might be lucky enough to be called back for a second interview and one of five people who gets to keep intimately dating the greedy bachelor.

Another friend of mine met a few quality matches and found one she liked. Just when she thought things were heating up and she was the only one he was sleeping with the guy called things off. His reason, he had to protect himself. Good way to make yourself available to others while having your cake and eating it, too, buddy. Women you are not omit from that we know some of you are guilty also. 

Okay, I know I sound cynical but the curse of the dating app is real. If you gave anyone their options of multiple things they want it would be a blessing and a curse. Why take one when you can have it all, right? Here’s the dilemma… When you sacrifice one for all you end up losing everything. Nothing can sustain that pressure. Taking a leap of faith is what makes the app worth joining and eventually designed to be deleted. In matters of love there should be a selection process and a filtering process but that process should be transparent. If you are effectively communicating your needs and wants then it’s up to the other person to allow you the power to hurt them. 

The cure to the app is being user friendly. When you treat people interested in dating you how you want them to treat you everyone wins. Not every date is a match but that doesn’t mean they have to be a flame either. As a rule of thumb, know the intentions of the person you’re going out with and be clear of yours. Don’t string someone along until you have someone else lined up. Remember in matters of the heart dating isn’t a game so don’t play to win.

Intuitively you will know when something clicks and someone is right for you, but if you aren’t someone’s first pick it’s time to swipe left. The one who deserves all of you is the one who’s going to choose you.  

 

monikafreeman

is the CEO of www.monikafreeman.com. She also works as a Creative Director, Writer, Brand Strategist and Fashion Editor.

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